Why do I reject people? We spend our entire life, wanting things, either through people or even without people. It’s really tough to get what we want. But there always is this never answered question, as to what do we really want? So knowing what do we really want from people is the biggest challenge. We think we want or need love, affection, bond, closeness, connection and intimacy from people. And when our pursuit is reaching its desired level, we start feeling uneasy with this kind of closeness. Our vulnerability starts taking control over our desires of finding our connection with people or making bond with people. We start avoiding people We start rejecting people We start shutting or blocking them off. The phenomenon, although very contradictory in nature, may have its roots in a similar earlier experience or experiences The earlier experiences may lead to fear of hurt, rejection and abandonment. Every action of avoidance due to these fears keeps making this avoidant nature much stronger, day by day. Strangely the fear of rejection never ends. It continues, even in the most intelligent people and lead them towards a very conflicting and difficult inner battles and consequences. We continue this behavior in spite of this struggle as it is feeding our self-created fear of more hurt. This is where the fundamental question needs to be answered with brutal honesty to self. What do I really want from people? There is no perfect way of finding how to find the trust or reassurance or how much is enough to make me not avoid or reject people. But, may be an open and honest process of asking for reassurance can be the best solution. However, instead of making this simple effort of keep requesting for reassurance, we hide or manipulate our own needs behind some more manipulative and complex behaviors that guarantees that we never get what we want. If this harsh, self defeating and rude behavior could be truly understood for what it is, it would be revealed not as rejection or indifference, but as a strangely distorted, yet very real, plea for help and compassion. It’s ok to feel embarrassed and change our state of embarrassment to a predictable and normal need for assurance. It’s ok to reveal dependence. Entire life and non-life systems of universe are dependent on each other, without any embarrassment or ego. Instead of avoiding, let’s ask this basic question. What do I Really want? Can I not just ask for what I want?