The following is a story of a girl named Kushi’s (named changed) journey through the ups and downs of her life, from the a very happy life she was pushed to the brink of insanity and how she, with the help of friends and with medical intervention was able to overcome her situation.
After completing her schooling, Khushi, moved to Pune from her village for better job prospects, and to further her career. She was an intelligent and hard-working girl, who had envisaged a bright future for herself. She was prepared to persevere and go the extra mile to fulfill her dreams. She took up a job in Pune, and continued with her studies. This, she rightly believed, would help to improve her lot in life, and enable her to climb the ladder of success in her career.
Kushi had a very pleasant disposition which won her many friends and she was loved by people, wherever she went. Hence, it did not take her long to become the most popular girl at her college and place of work. She was very obliging and ever ready to lend a helping hand to someone in need. These characteristics portrayed a very pleasant personality and she was well liked and admired by all the people who she came contact with. At work, her perseverance and honest work helped her to gain the confidence of her seniors, and convinced the management of her capability and potential.
She had the ideal life a girl of her age could have wanted. Her dreams were being realized slowly with each passing day. It all seemed too good to be true. It was at this time that she met a young man named Rahul (name changed) at her place of work and they grew close. Yet another void was being filled in her life and she found herself being drawn closer and closer to her new friend. They enjoyed each other’s company and seemed to compliment each other. Yet, although they were like two peas in a pod, when it came to their ideologies and beliefs, they were like chalk and cheese. Kushi now had a close friend, a shoulder to lean on, and someone who she could confide in and share her dreams and aspirations with.
However, this was the calm before the proverbial storm, and the bubble soon burst. One day during a discussion, their difference of opinions sparked off an argument. It was a very small and trivial matter which soon exploded into a war of words. They started distancing themselves from each other and although both wanted to reconcile, their pride would not allow either of them to take the first step. Working in the same organization, Kushi would see Rahul occasionally and she would be flooded with mixed feelings of regret and anger. But this changed when Rahul resigned from the company and took up a job in another organization. There was no more Rahul in her life. During this relationship with Rahul she had slowly distanced herself from her other friends, and when he left, she felt totally isolated. At times she felt that she was responsible for the break in the relationship and began to hate herself. At other times she felt that Rahul had been very unreasonable and was the cause of her unhappiness.
The pressure was beginning to take a toll on her mental stability, and soon depression and anxiety set in. This had an adverse effect on her performance at work, and she was falling short of her targets. Her educational pursuits all came to a standstill as she could not get herself to focus on anything. To add to all this, she started neglecting her appearance, and a feeling of hopelessness began to take over. Kushi, once the vibrant lovable girl, who was admired by one and all, had suddenly been transformed into the shell of the person she once was. Her hopes all seemed to die at once and despair soon set in. This was too much for her to accept and she started thinking of ending this pathetic existence that she was forced to call life.
However, this was not part of her destiny. Some of her close friends who cared about her, noticed the drastic change and confronted her about the same. Her immediate defense was absolute denial. She bluntly told them that she was okay and was just going through a low patch in her life. But these good friends persisted in their efforts and convinced her to seek medical help. Soon, an appointment was set and she consulted a Psychiatrist. With medical intervention and counseling, Kushi was able to come out of the pit of depression and slowly but surely, she began her journey of healing.
Does Kushi’s story sound familiar? We see so many young girls and boys just like her, who are tossed and battered by the storms of life. Some, like Kushi, are able to come out of this bottomless pit with medical help, while others are not as fortunate. Today, the demands of life are so overbearing and the frail of heart are not able to withstand the onslaught. However, whatever the circumstances, survival is one of the basic instincts of all living beings and ending one’s life is not a natural mindset. Life has its ups and downs but we develop strategies to cope with the stress and strain that we may stumble across on the pathway of life.
There are multiple facets to life today and we cannot survive on our own. Man is a social animal and communication with other people is a vital requirement. When we try to walk the road alone, we find that when life get difficult, we succumb to the pressure and this could sometimes be fatal. Success and failure are two sides of the same coin. At the same time both, success and failure are not permanent. It is our thinking that will make the different winning and losing, between rising and falling, between life and death.
So, what is the solution to the situation? Why do people still choose to take the extreme step of ending their lives? Is there no way out?
These questions and many like them do not have a set answer. It all depends on the temperament and disposition of the individual. Then there is the complexity of our egos that only adds fuel to the fire and aggravates the situation. We need to fortify our mental capabilities and reinforce the structure of our relationships. One of the basic instincts of man is the social instinct. Man cannot survive alone and has to have a healthy social circle. Sharing is an important component and every individual needs to have at least one person, if not more, to ventilate their thoughts and feelings.
The stigma attached to seeking help from mental health professionals had cost many people their sanity and sometimes even their lives. We need to eradicate this misconception immediately. Help is available and just because someone may visit a Psychiatrist it doesn’t mean that he or she is a “nut case.” In reality it shows maturity and the humility to accept that they need help. This, in turn, will enable them to regain the balance in their lives.
Behavioral patterns in human beings can be categorized into “to be” or “not to be.” Those who fall in the ‘to be’ category are rational human beings who will always look on the positive side of things. Suicide is not something that they would normally think about. However, the rebel in them makes it difficult to accept certain situations in their lives and may sometimes result in suicidal tendencies.
The second group, namely, “not to be,” are usually people who are unstable in their minds and stuck in a pit of depression. They see the world through negative lenses, and even something pleasant will appear sad and depressing to them. They look at the dark side of things, and the results are feelings of remorse, despondency, hopelessness and helplessness.
So, it is important to remember that whatever the situation may be in our lives today, it is temporary. Whatever we may be going through today will eventually pass with time. We, however, need to ventilate our thoughts and feelings periodically, and not wait for them to build up to the point where they may explode. Our thoughts determine the way we feel. It is the way it is, neither good nor bad. We need to remember that feelings are an energy that cannot be destroyed. They have to be channelized positively if we are to come out of the not so pleasant situations unscathed.
I am Fine